This blog would not be complete, nor would any of it make sense other than being another bird lover’s blog, without sharing this experience. This really was the beginning of a new journey, and was profoundly monumental in showing me that there just may be something far greater & more powerful than I had previously believed. My mother was not religious. In fact, she would proudly call herself an atheist.
Mom was, on the other hand, somewhat spiritual in a scientific way. She certainly was not a free spirit hippy chick (although if you took away the pearls, perfect hair, preppy clothes, and heels…). She did believe in Nostradamus, and would constantly talk about his predictions and how they were coming to fruition, and seemed to have an “in” with the powers that be – like knowing certain things that I’m quite sure most of the world wasn’t aware of, which I always thought was weird.
We shared a closeness in her last years that never existed during my growing up years. I was a trouble maker, and she a stunningly beautiful knock your socks off politician in our State with an incredible smile and quick wit. She had one of those personalities that made anyone feel as though she just became your best friend after just meeting her for two minutes, and she would always remember your name. Her oldest daughter (ahem) struggled for years with not meeting up to those high expectations in her own mind, and instead chose a path of rebellion for a while. Normal, right?
When her diagnosis of cancer was given in 2002, it was like we had just met for the first time. None of the past mattered. Our journey as mother and daughter grew wings, and off we flew for an amazing eleven year journey of friendship, love, and the greatest gut wrenching, rolling on the floor belly laughing time I’ve ever spent with anyone.
Side note: Bird Visits. When my grandfather died (her father), all of us in our own way found comfort in hearing the Mourning Dove “Coo-ooo-oo”. We all believed that in some way he was sharing his presence with us, as Morning Doves were always heard where my grandparents lived. There was also a tall lanky Great Blue Heron who would stand and fish in the river for hours… When my grandmother later died I went on a walk where I live, and when I turned the corner to walk along the harbor, a Great Blue Heron was standing right there on the dock just staring at me. That was when I first really started to think “Hmmmmm…”.
So, back to Mom… Because of these “bird visits” I openly asked her what she was going to come back as, just so I would know it was her. I should have known her well enough to know that her answer would not be so simple. She grinned and said “Hahahaa… I am going to come back as many different things, and make life very fun for you…” Remember the reference about having that “in with the powers that be”?
Mom knew how much I love photography, and knew I believe in the law of attraction and other universal things. She also knew that I am easily distracted by moving objects and beautiful things.
SO – on the day she died I am convinced she put on a show knowing that I would not only be distracted by it, but photograph it. Dad was on the phone with the funeral folks and I was sitting in her chair in the kitchen reading emails.
Something made me look up towards the kitchen window where all of her bird feeders used to be, and I gasped. There was a ray of light coming through that continued to get brighter, and brighter. There is no light source outside of that window, and the sun had already gone down behind the house next to us, although it was still fairly light out. I yelled to my father “Dad! Daaaaad! Look at this light behind you! Dad, do you see it?!” He didn’t turn around, so I picked up my iPhone and started taking pictures thinking to myself “There is no way I’m going to let anyone think I’m crazy, I have to document this or no one will believe me”. As I was clicking away I thought to myself “Omg, She KNEW I would do this, and started to laugh, then cry…”.
And so began my next journey with Mom… I knew at that moment it was indeed going to be a fun, unpredictable, ride. One I was now very excited about.
There was no light source outside of the window. Do you see the little geometrical thing in the bottom? This was the window where she had her bird feeders. Her chair was in just the right spot to be able to watch them every day.